My mother has been a working professional all her life and she retired this month, ending her 35 years of successful work journey.
Before the retirement party, we headed to the cabin that once used to be hers. Seeing her sitting across the table which was now occupied by someone else, I had mixed feelings. Her journey flashed through my eyes; our journey!
As a child, coming back from school where all my friends were welcomed by their mothers’ warm embrace, I always walked back home alone, tracing fast steps to reach my destination safe and sound. Once outside the home, the neighbors would open the main door, let me in with my sister and lock it back again. Mom would leave our lunch in the kitchen; mostly it was the same vegetable that mom packed for lunch, but we never complained. (Did I mention she used to work like a wizard in the kitchen, fixing meals faster than you can imagine? Guess when you are working and managing home, this trick comes naturally.) My sister would heat the food and we’d eat while chatting incessantly about the day’s happenings. The same chitter chatter would be repeated when mom dad came back in the evening. I remember being the lazy one who hated to go out and play; instead I loved chatting with my mom, gorging on evening snacks she bought from her office canteen up until the point she cooked dinner and put us to bed. I remember my dad telling her to ask me to shut up. That never happened!
On those rare days when she would be on leave, she always made sure we didn’t know in advance. The adrenaline rush that me and my sister experienced seeing her waiting at the door of our house is something that words can’t do justice to. We ate more; we chatted even more and would fight to sleep on her arms during our daytime nap.
Then we went to senior school and started to ably handle the unlocking the door and staying safe part on our own. We got a landline and were supposed to call mom the moment we reached home. Even a 5-minute delay would freak her out. School assignments got us busy; friends took up most of our day’s time. We would wait for mom dad to come back home so we could go out and play with our friends; in my case chit chat with my friends. With time, playing with friends graduated to discussing about crushes and growing up in general; things that I started to assume parents won’t understand.
In college, I would make brief visits to my mom’s office to get free assignment printouts for me and my friends. She’d offer us snacks that we would quickly binge on and leave. I started to stay out late but irrespective of the time I returned, she would insist I eat dinner with my bedtime ‘saunf’ milk. When I started working, I started to spend lesser time at home; weekends passed catching up with friends.
Life carried on. I got married and had a child. I quit my work after my daughter was born but my mom stood by me as my pillar of strength.
I was a stay-at-home mom for almost 4 years and I got plenty of praises for the decision. I never regretted it but I did have my occasional outbursts for just playing the mom; like it was the only cheer my life had. I was desperate to go back to my normal stress free life, so I started to unapologetically eat into my mom’s weekends by dropping my little one at her place. While she played the role of a dutiful nani on Saturdays and Sundays, I watched movies, dined out with my husband and friends, trying with every bone in my body to beat the baby blues. She never complained.
I resumed my job after 4 years but the trend continued. I wanted to unwind after a long work week and she would still always look forward to spend her weekends with my daughter; like it took off all her workplace stress.
All this got me thinking if I lost out on a lot of my time with her because she was working; and if I am doing the same with my five-year-old daughter. She is growing up and soon she will reach a phase where she won’t need me. Juggling with these emotions, I find my answer when I see her colleagues showering her with so much love and regard, insisting her to visit more often. It struck that minute, we didn’t lose our time, instead she gained a lot of love both from us and her office folks. And somehow knowing her I can say with utmost surety she wouldn’t have been such a happy and confident person sitting at home. She has always had the spark that needed an outlet; and it got exactly that.
I just wish that now after her retirement she is able to fully relax and enjoy her life, never worrying about her CLs and PLs to take long holidays. Though I strongly suspect she will still be playing ‘nani’ to make my life easy! That’s what moms always do- make our lives easier!
Your proud daughter!