How many times do you feel let down by your colleagues? How often do you sense unwarranted competition with your otherwise cordial colleagues? Do you suspect them for putting your career in jeopardy? All these questions are not new, all the more in today’s scenario where we spend majority of our waking up hours at the workplace.
Workplace culture is rapidly changing and Dr. Edmond Fernandes, a public health doctor and author has penned a book dubbed Handbook on Workplace Diplomacy catering to the changing dynamics of the new age workplace.
Talking about the motivating factor behind penning this book, Dr Fernandes points out, “Workplace today is a complicated place where guidelines need to be interpreted, ethics need to be implied and diplomacy remains the cornerstone to counter natural jealousy and success that grows out of hard-work. Today’s workplace knowingly and unknowingly creates an impact on the psyche which influences our future directives. Goodwill and goodness are forgotten virtues and workplace today is in need of healing.”
He goes on to add, “My book draws inspiration from my journey rubbing shoulders with different kinds of people in politics, in defence, among the academia, in hospitals, among the religious and among bureaucrats. It has triggered in me, a lifetime of memories. It is a humble attempt to make life a little less complex than it already is, to add more value and to look at it from a brighter perspective. We live in an age where there is so much of information, yet we do not know what is going on.”
Workplace politics
When found in the middle of controversy, our first move is to react. But Dr Fernandes feels otherwise. “Knowing and not reacting is power. I believe this is the single most powerful way to deal with office politics. Keeping your enemies guessing disturbs them greatly. Act neutral and standardize your statements. When you standardize your statement, it keeps the conversation open. When people seek an opinion from you, give a thought with regard to how it will impact the lives of others.”
He cautions, “Bonding at workplace is acceptable, but we need to maintain professional and personal limits. To have expectations from people at workplace leads to secret partiality and hidden greed in the broadest sense of the term. It may also create problems of sexual harassment when bonding happens and favors are sought.”
Can your colleague be your friend?
Spending endless hours at work, away from the comforts of your loved ones, it is common to look for happiness in your colleagues. But there are some rules we forget. “It is nice to have people who recognize your work and professionally back you up, but getting close with people may back fire when sides ought to be taken and when decisions need to be made. This is how corruption and scams are born. Rule is simple – Never reveal anything unless there is an occasion to. It is best to stick to general conversations on politics, on climate change and on the latest movies in town or who is going to be the next US President. These conversations maintain professional space, while creating meaningful fellowship.”
Psychology behind workplace relationships
According to Lucy Beresford, author of Happy Relationships, “The way you handle workplace relationships says a lot about you. Sometimes your discontent at workplace is more to do with some deeper issues back home such as lack of companionship, boredom and more.” She advises that when caught in such a troubled work atmosphere, you must ask yourself whether your own emotions or mood are affected by their behavior, to see whether this relationship has echoes in your past. If it does, work on any unresolved issues from home so that you don’t find yourself re-enacting childhood dramas in the office.
Workplace bullying
Workplace is a potpourri of emotions, competition and comrade. You do come across bullies. Shipra Dawar, CEO, ePsyclinic.com explains, “HR needs to put rules in place so that three remain in balance and competition doesn’t take over comradery, throwing people in spew of emotions. Some of the rules should be courteous and respectful expression under all circumstances with your colleagues at work place. Rules for discriminatory comments and gestures on the basis of gender, caste, age should be strictly prohibited and there should be implemented rules put in place by Human Resources. Any innuendo, sexist or suggestive conversation should also be actively discouraged by HR policies and sensitisation activities at work place. That said, personal office communications, personal texts, outside office communication, interactions should not be moderated actively. It takes away from people to enable building long lasting friendships and emotional connection. Further guidelines outside respect for all and equality for all should not be the guard of HR department. The employees should have democratic rights even in the office premises of what they wish to talk about with each other and how do they carry forward these work place relationships.”
Rules of workplace diplomacy
Dr Edmond has described 17 steps in his Handbook of Workplace Diplomacy. “It is important to remember that while speaking one ought to be politically correct and as far as possible don’t hurt the wrong people, promise less than necessary and preserve peace, get amused, never angry. Lastly, if you can’t associate, don’t dissociate, just be there.”
“You are the one who has the power to create experiences. You are divine perception. You create everything. It’s all in your power. The power is there in everyone but fear takes it away. Fear of blame. Fear of responsibility,” opines Pami Singh, a Psycho Spiritual Consultant, a past life regression therapist & meditation teacher.
In the end, creating a balance is the key.